Having difficult conversations is never fun but often necessary. During an engagement period, some couples decide to sign prenuptial agreements to establish how certain financial matters will be handled if the marriage ends in a divorce. It can be uncomfortable and hard to bring up this topic as prenups have a negative connotation of preparing for the relationship to fail. The same can be said for postnuptial agreements. If you are planning to tell your spouse you want a postnuptial agreement it may be worthwhile to prepare in advance. Continue reading and consult a Suffolk County family law attorney for legal advice.
How Should I Tell My Spouse I Want a Postnuptial Agreement?
- Ask yourself the hard questions: Being prepared can help you and your spouse avoid an argument about the postnup. Ask yourself why you want this and where your feelings about it arose from. Your spouse will surely ask these questions so it is important that you have an answer to give them to explain why you feel it is important.
- Research: Do some research on what postnuptial agreements are, their benefits and drawbacks, how they work, etc. Understanding what goes into the document and exactly what it does will help you and your spouse make an educated decision.
- Rehearse: It can be beneficial to practice what you will say during the conversation. It is impossible to know how your spouse will respond but preparing some points and sentences in advance can help you avoid misspeaking.
- Choose a time and place: You do not have to send your spouse a calendar invite that says “Postnup Discussion,” but choosing the right time is crucial. Avoid starting the conversation if you have been fighting or if your spouse is abnormally stressed about something. Make sure it is just the two of you and you have the time and privacy to have a full discussion.
- Be open and honest: If there was ever a time to be completely honest now is it. Be direct and openly communicate your feelings. Share the reasons that you are considering a postnuptial agreement, the benefits you believe it offers, and why it has been on your mind. Communicate your fears or hesitancies as well, expressing all feelings about the topic. Make sure they understand that you are not asking for a divorce, just some additional security for both of you.
- Hear them out: They may be shocked, angry, upset, or anything in between. Allow them to ask questions if they have any and express their opinion.
- Give them space: You had time to think about the postnup and prepare in advance. They likely did not have that same opportunity before the conversation. Allow them the space they need to think about the suggestion and do their own research.
While it may be tempting to let the awkwardness linger unspoken, it is best to plan another time to sit down and talk more about the idea. Plan to discuss things further once you both have had time to cool down and do additional research. For more information speak with an experienced attorney today.
