Divorce can be an incredibly overwhelming and stressful process for the parties involved. However, it’s important to understand that not every divorce is as contentious as television shows and movies make this process out to be. In fact, many couples are able to settle their differences outside of the courtroom through mediation. This is a negotiation process led by a neutral third-party entity that can help you and your spouse compromise. As such, if you are unsure why mediation may be right for your circumstances, the following blog explores what you should know and why working with a Suffolk County divorce lawyer is in your best interest during these difficult times.

What Is Divorce Mediation in New York?

Divorce mediation is a structured, confidential negotiation process in which the spouses meet with a trained mediator. The mediator is an unbiased, third-party individual who will help facilitate conversations between the parties. It’s important to understand that mediators cannot take sides or offer legal advice. Their goal is to keep the parties focused and work towards finding a settlement.

What Mediation Can Help Resolve

  • Division of marital property and debts
  • Spousal support (alimony)
  • Parenting schedules and legal custody
  • How to handle any future disputes that may arise

What Mediation Cannot Resolve on Its Own

  • Situations that require an emergency court order
  • Continued refusal to disclose finances
  • Coercive control or intimidation
  • Serious concerns regarding domestic violence

How To Show Up Ready to Negotiate on Long Island

It’s important to understand that preparation for mediation begins before you start doing paperwork. As such, it’s important to understand that this process relies heavily on self-control and flexibility. When thinking about mediation, you should keep the following in mind:

  • Come ready to listen
  • Speak in terms of solutions rather than blame
  • Focus on practical outcomes that prioritize stability and clarity
  • Don’t treat mediation like a “practice” trial

Create a Master List of Assets, Debts, and Expenses

One of the most important parts of mediation is full financial disclosure. This ensures that you and your spouse are aware of your shared assets and liabilities to ensure that the terms of the divorce are fair. Failure to disclose assets, accounts, or liabilities can result in unfair settlements. In fact, even if you accidentally forget to include an asset, it may be viewed by the Suffolk County family court as a lack of transparency. Unfortunately, if this omission appears intentional, it can create significant credibility issues and delays. As such, it’s imperative to ensure that you compile a comprehensive and accurate list.

Property and Assets

  • Marital residence, second homes, vacation properties, rental units
  • All bank accounts
  • Retirement accounts
  • Vehicles and boats
  • Business interests
  • Stocks and investments
  • Life insurance policies
  • Valuable personal items

Debts and Liabilities

  • Mortgages and home equity loans
  • Credit cards (including store cards)
  • Medical debts
  • Student loans
  • Business loans
  • Personal lines of credit
  • Taxes owed

Monthly Expenses

  • Mortgage, rent, and utilities
  • Childcare expenses
  • Health insurance premiums
  • Groceries
  • Transportation costs
  • Personal expenses

What Is the Difference Between Marital and Separate Property in New York?

New York adheres to the equitable distribution method of dividing marital property during a divorce. This means that the state will prioritize divided jointly owned assets between the spouses in a “fair” but not necessarily equal manner. However, this division only applies to assets owned by both spouses. Any property deemed separate will remain the sole property of the spouse who owns it.

Examples of Separate Property

Typically, separate property is anything owned by a spouse before the marriage that is kept separate from other marital assets. Common examples include:

  • Assets owned before marriage
  • Inheritances received by one spouse
  • Gifts intended for one spouse specifically
  • Certain personal injury awards

Examples of Marital Property

Marital property generally includes anything obtained during the marriage, regardless of which spouse technically owns it. This generally includes:

  • Income earned during the marriage
  • Retirement contributions made during the marriage
  • Property purchased, even if it is titled to only one spouse
  • Increased value of some assets

What Documents Should You Gather Before Your First Mediation Session?

Taking the time to gather important information before your first Suffolk County mediation session can help increase the speed and efficiency of this process while also reducing the emotional toll it can take.

Financial Documents Checklist

  • The previous two to three years of tax returns
  • Recent paystubs
  • Bank statements for the past year
  • Credit card statement
  • Health insurance and policy information
  • Retirement and investment statements
  • Mortgage and property tax bills

If a Business Is Involved

  • Profit and loss statements
  • Payroll records
  • Business tax returns
  • Company bank statements

Consider Appraisals and Valuations

In the event you and your spouse disagree on the value of certain assets, mediation will be unable to continue until you agree on objective numbers. As such, coming prepared with objective valuations of certain assets is critical to moving this process along efficiently.

When Valuations Matter the Most

  • Real estate
  • Retirement accounts
  • Pensions
  • Businesses
  • High-value personal items

How Should You Prepare a Settlement Strategy?

It’s important to understand that mediation outcomes improve when each party comes prepared with ideas about the assets they want to retain rather than relying on impulsive decisions. One of the most important steps you can take to prepare for mediation is to determine your non-negotiables versus the sacrifices you are willing to make to reach a resolution.

Contact an Experienced Suffolk County Divorce Attorney

If you are interested in mediating your divorce, it’s important to understand that working with an attorney is imperative. At Peter Mandi & Associates, our firm can help you prepare for mediation and review agreements before you sign them to ensure they reflect your best interests and the agreements made during mediation. Contact us today to learn how we can represent you during these matters.