New York Divorce Mediator: Three Tips to Increase Effectiveness of Mediation

A New York divorce mediator helps parties negotiate the terms of their divorce agreement, including making decisions regarding property division, spousal support, child support and child custody.  There are ways to maximize the effectiveness of mediation.  A New York divorce mediator may suggest incorporating the following strategies:

Ask the Right Kind of Questions

Avoid asking questions that seek to cast blame or focus too much on the past.  Mediation should not feel like a cross-examination.  Rather than using curt questions that are focused on only your goals and what you want out of the mediation, ask clarifying questions that allow you to have a better understanding of your spouse’s point of view.  Allowing the other side to elaborate on his or her point of view also assists the mediator in uncovering interests that can eventually lead to resolving the case.  

Choose Your Battles Wisely

Just as in marriage, it is important to choose your battles carefully in divorce.  Even if something that the other side is not true, it may not be necessary to get defensive or argue over every point.  Consider the potential importance or impact of an issue before reacting negatively to it.

Embrace Your Creativity

Embrace the process of mediation and the ability to come up with your own creative solutions to the problems plaguing your divorce.  Step away from standard court orders and consider what would work best for your particular family and situation.